Ben Rader

The Locomotive Note

Ben was born in the wood’s underneath Halley’s comet (even though the last time it was in the sky was 1986). His unique experience of being raised by skunks has allowed him to clear rooms with his ability to produce a horrendous smell. He believes in everything, and nothing at the same time. Ben is a self-proclaimed “Moon-truther” in that he doesn’t believe in the moon itself, let alone that we landed on it. Terrified by heights, Ben works as an aviator, flying the modern-day equivalent of a cardboard box with wings superglued to the sides. He was awarded the medal of honor for his participation in the great war of the minds that occurred between Ben’s imagination and the deep state. Unfortunately, the deep state won, but for his bravery he was award the medal of honor. Ben loves long walks on the beach, and deep intellectual conversation between two human beings, doing human things. He loves his pet axolotl with all his heart, and if anyone were to do harm to it they will have never experienced fury like Ben’s will be. Other than an aviator, Ben is in control of an extensive criminal network based out of Amish country PA known as the “Amish Mafia.” He is currently wanted in 10 different states for crimes such as cow-tipping, horse stealing, manure bombing mailboxes, and murder.